Final Countdown – Getting in shape and cold sores

Summer’s coming. If you’re just joining us, this blog is about my effort to get skinny enough to fit into the Brazilian bikini I bought for myself at Christmas…Wait, I’m a man. No, this blog is about me trying to get a halfway decent pool body for my Vegas bachelor party, now just a few days away. I won’t apologize for caring. I won’t!

My physique is better than it was three months ago, but it’s not a drastic change. I STILL need to step up my cardio program, even though I hate it. And just when my teetotaling was starting paying weight loss dividends, I hopped off the wagon.

“If you’re serious about getting in shape, you have to abstain.”

Mets first baseman turned broadcaster, Keith Hernandez said this during a game when he was discussing his recent weight loss. I remember, because his monologue was was worth a swig according to the rules of our Watching the Mets on TV drinking game. So maybe the women won’t be fainting at the sight of me, but a little muscle tone never hurt anyone. This is just the beginning, anyway. A family history of heart disease ain’t nothing to mess with.

So with a Vegas trip upcoming, what better time than to tackle to subject of cold sores? Raise your hand if you’ve ever had a cold sore. Come on, it’s ok. My hand is up. There ya go. If you don’t have a hand up, you’re lucky. You also probably live with your parents. If your hand is up, it’s probably getting tingly by now. You can put it down. But speaking of tingly, that’s the first sign that a cold sore is coming! It’s an awful feeling because it signals the start of 7-14 days of sad feelings and avoiding people. Or at least wanting to avoid people. I swear, when I’ve got a honking blister, all cracked and oozing fluid I’ve wished it was on my genitals. At least it would be hidden. 

I think it was Rick James who allegedly said, “Valtrex is a hell of a drug.” He’s right. While it’s usually prescribed for genital herpes (which I do not suffer from, by the way, just saying) it is also effective on the oral variety. It can knock a couple of days off your symptoms (the sore) and also does a good job of suppressing future incidents (more sores). One doctor told me that topical ointments aren’t very effective, but I still bombard my face with Abreva during an out break. Now, I’m not going not going to get technical about the herpes simplex virus. This article does a fine job of that. I just want my fellow sufferers to know that it’s okay to talk about. With God’s grace, one day we’ll all have mouth herpes and the stigma around it would disappear. What a Utopia that would be.

the Bruce's dad

You would't have to feel like Robert the Bruce's dad anymore.

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